I don’t know what it is with me and February. I feel tired, need loads of sleep, I can’t focus and don’t feel very motivated. This all is pretty deadly for achieving the aim of deciphering the code called Modern Standard Arabic and obtaining other goals, the achievable and the seemingly far fetched ones. February is the wake up call of the new year. You had your Eid, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, another Christmas (the Coptic one) and a birthday (mine). The festive season has come to an end and the euphoria of the dawn of a new year and decade has simmered down. Resolutions and the achievement of some goals are not being executed or are not entirely going to plan. That’s alright, it’s all cool. I mean, I’m a closet optimist: I plan and aim to achieve with optimum circumstances in mind; I never feel tired, why would I, so I can get up at 6 to do my yoga practice and to some writing or vocab learning. Mundane activities like doing one’s groceries shopping, cooking, enjoying some food , doing the laundry and cleaning one’s mansion only take a minimum amount of time, really. I mean, who needs to eat, wear clean clothes or live in a clean house. Then there is the socializing and staying in touch with friends and family in distant lands. Who says debating the joys and nuisances of expat life or the place of religion in the modern world, writing a decent email or spending some quality time on skype take hours out of the day. Not me. But they do. And while one is enjoying oneself one is gliding further into the year, into the future and goal posts are being moved.
And then there always seems to be time to dream about shaping the near and far future. Which places I will travel to this spring and summer, what I really want to do after graduating and whether I’ll remain a lone, lonesome cowgirl exploring the world and all its treasures or that I one day will lead a rather more conventional life. Dreaming about the future occurs almost everyday and it never seems to take up much time or effort. It never feels like I could have done something more useful instead. I like to dream about what can be. I find it an useful and even necessary exercise. I dream, I plan, I take action (sort of). Is that not what life is (partly) about? And let it be February. Let my action-taking be stagnant for a bit. Spring is coming. Temperatures are already rising and I bet my energy and motivation levels will do too ( I told you I’m a(n) (closet) optimist).
And happy Valentine’s day to all you lovers and loners. Keep on loving, keep on reading, keep on writing, keep on dreaming and keep on living life like groove is in the heart.